Sunday, June 27, 2010

The Best Defense is a Good Offense: Squirrel Defense Tatics

Greetings, civilians. 

As you know, I haven't posted any updates regarding the Squirrel Agenda lately, that's because I've had to go underground for a while.  After my last post those little bastards caught wind of me and sent a Black Squirrel Extermination Squad after me.  Remember those guys....

I believe they've recently called off the hunt, so for now, it's safe to continue my anti-Squirrel agenda.

I realized lately that if mankind is to survive, they must know what I know.  They must know how to defend themselves against the furry oppressors.  What I'm about to share with you is information that has been declassified by NORM(Nations Opposing Rodentia Masterhood) officials.  Prepare for a crash course in Squirrel Defense Tatics.

Know Your Enemy:

This is key to winning any battle.  You must learn to get in you opponents head.  Learn what they know, predict their every movement.  Know their strengths and weaknesses.  The Squirrels are small, but quick and wiry.  Using your size as an advantage sounds like an ideal strategy, but they've long since learned how to bring down a larger foe.  A well trained squad of five can bring down a bull elephant in seconds. 

Train Your Mind and Body
You must remain limber and train your reflexes to their peak.  They're quick so you must be quicker.  Also, Squirrels mostly fight in groups.  Separating them and taking them on individually is crucial.  Ground tactics are your best chance at defeating them hand-to-hand.  I know, gong down to their level sounds like suicide, but really, what the fuck is a high kick gonna do against a 2 ft tall rodent? 

Brazilian Jiu Jitsu has proven very effective against the squirrels, as their ridiculous skeletal make-up has proven ineffective against countering grappling maneuvers. Back in 1925, the legendary Helio Gracie once managed to bring down an attacking Black Squirrel using his patent system.  His tale is still told to day as an inspiration to all NORM agents.

Above all else, the most important thing to remember when facing off against the squirrels is, NEVER SHOW FEAR.  These little evil bastards feed on it, down give them that fuel.  If you show fear for your life, you wll surely be killed.  Turn that fear against them, channel it into rage, and show those furry fucks no mercy.

Anti-Squirrel Weaponry 
Fighting  squirrels hand-to-hand should be used as a last resort.  When those furry tyrants attack, your best bet is to pick up a weapon.  I've already shared he tale of George Washington Carver and his deadly peanut-based weapon "The Bussiness".  This weapon has led to the death of more squirrels than one can possbly imagined, unfortunately said weapon was destroyed in great battle coined "Gettysburg 2: Electric Boogaloo" in 1986.  Since then, NORM has experimented with various weaponry to find which is the most effective against the Squirrel Armada.  Here are but a few...


It's light, flexible design s the perfect thing to match the squirrels maneuverability.

Shaolin Spikes

Perfect for close-quarters combat.  Sleek, deadly, and can pierce through their furry asses with ease.

  I know, it's pretty much harmless....until you fill it shrapnel and thumbtacks.  Now we're talking.

And finally...the most effective Squirrel-killing weapon...


No weapon on Earth has proven more effective at exterminating enemy Squirrels than a crazy old coot on his porch with a shotgun.  A Squirrels natural enemy, they often flee on sight of these senile old killing machines.  To face them would mean suicide.  If you find yourself facing an attacking force of Squirrels, your best bet is to call up your crazy old Grandpa...and tell him to bring his rifle.

Well, I hope this helps.  I must sign off for now, don't want them tracking me again.  Until next time troops, show no fear, show no mercy.

Not the End

Sunday, June 6, 2010

My thoughts on the Lost finale

I've had a few weeks to let everything that went down set in, and now I'm ready to express my true feelings about the Lost finale, as well as the series as a whole..........

Gilligan's Island was better.

Not the End

Tuesday, June 1, 2010


Happy June peoples.  I'm finally getting back to y blog because I've had something on my mind for a long time now.

It's really been bugging me how much people misuse the word "style".  I'm someone who likes to draw, and I hope to do that for a living, and it's always cool to meet someone else who likes to draw as well.  But I can't count how many times I look at other people's work and it's mainly copied anime, and in a few occasions Jhoenn Vasquez, and yet they describe it as "their style", thinking they're adding a unique perspective.

Well I'm here to say...YOU'RE NOT.

The word "style" is used nowadays to mask a sever lack of talent and originality.  Just because you draw something doesn't instantly make that your style.  To truly create a style is not easy.  You have to know all the fundamental skills of drawing and be able to blend them with your own visual perspective, creating something that stans out from everything else.  John K. has a very butch and exaggerated way of drawing with a strong 1950s-60s sensibility to it.  Genndy Tartakovsky uses simple shape construction an unique color blends to give his wok a very cinematic feel.  Bill Plympton, Bruce Timm (By the way, sorry to use so many animation examples but that's the field I'm more familiar with), you would never confuse their drawings with others because they've forged their own styles.  Whenever someone shows me their artwork, I'm always put off on how it just looks the same.  I don't see their mentality, their creativity, their vision, all I get from their stuff is..."I like Bleach and Dragon Ball, I'm just gonna do that".  Which is fine, I'm not saying that's wrong, if that's what you're good at, do it, just don't start passing it off as your style.  That's you're PREFERRED styl, but not yours.

I also hate how style is thrown around to defend shit.  As much as I love Adult Swim, 95%of their original programming is pure crap in terms of quality, Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Squidbillies aren't examples of style, they're examples of lazy people with Photoshop and a 20 dollar budget.  I look at comic books and I rarely take note of the artist because a lot of it tends to look the same.  To all artists out there, if you haven't learned the basic skills, stop what you're doing and go learn them.  It's sad that you rarely see true originality anymore, something that makes you take note of that artist, and from the stuff I've seen from fellow students, that doesn't look like it's gonna change.  Do I myself have a style, no.  I'm still trying to master the technical aspects and at the same time trying to establish my own outlook on life, rather than just borrowing someone elses.  It's extremely difficult, but the end result is rewarding.

If all you can do is draw anime, that's fine, hopefully you'll find a career drawing manga or something like that, but please, please,stop calling it your "style", otherwise I'll face punch you.

Not the End